The Sole Prayer

Being someone with a blind faith in a Supreme Being, I’ve never felt alone, unattended, or lost. Since the time I gained some sense of thinking, I’ve been taught that a prayer from a true heart is listened, and answered. I’ve been told that prayers have the power to alter the destiny.

(Some say that God re-writes how your life-story goes, some say that the destiny is conditional, it decides a path after every phase; i-e it’s like a Y-intersection road. When your prayer gets accepted, your life story moves in one way, otherwise it moves in the other way. There can be more than two options. But this is a total different topic.)

I always had one prayer. Nothing less, nothing more. It was just one, but a smart one. After every time I offered my obligatory prayers, every time visiting a mosque, after every fast, I just asked God to give me some inner peace. Peace for my mind, and peace for my soul. I just don’t want to get frustrated, tensed, and depressed over things which will eventually be over. (Pretty much like a normal person. It’s a common sense to avoid depression)

Every time I prayed for this, my intentions were like, nothing bad should happen. I shouldn’t fail any course. I should get good company. I should be able to meet the deadlines. I should spend more time with the family. I should be able to get rid of some extra weight. Basically, I wanted everything to happen which brings peace of mind, and I wanted to avoid everything which takes away that peace of mind.

It was probably some random, unheard, and unknown moment in my life when things started to change. I finally had the feeling that my mind was at peace all the time. Yes, true peace. I started to love it. The depression, the anxiety, and every negativity one can think of, it went away. With all of my calm mind, I finally could have peace in every breath I took.

Within this beautiful feeling of happiness of a sole prayer which got finally answered, I happened to figure out something really (like, Reealllyy) fishy. Everything… kinda, backfired! I tried to play smart, having one prayer, and was taught a really well lesson. Bad things were still happening. I wasn’t getting good company, in fact, I got separated from the best people I knew, I wasn’t meeting the deadlines. I was still failing my courses. I wasn’t able to spend time with my family. I gained like, 16 kilograms extra. EVERYTHING, which could cause some severe depression was happening, but… I was still at peace. Inner peace was something which I had so much, that I even started to share it with the people around me.

What have I become? Have I stopped caring? No, I still care about things, and manage them, but I simply don’t get stressed in case something goes wrong. I got what I wanted, but it made things worse (and I’m still at peace because no matter how much worse it gets, I just can not get depressed, or tensed over it.)

I. Have. Become. Unfuckwithable. *badumtss*


P.S: I “might” give a fuck if something really bad happens, like WW3, or if Jon Snow doesn’t become the King in the end, or my degree gets further delayed, or… you know, the one who’s reading it dies. Doesn’t mean I’ll definitely be worried, but at least there are some chances. Cheers!

Strengthening the thoughts (I)

“I spent the whole night, studying for the exam. Just kept cramming for the final. And now this one thing, one equation, that might have gone out of my short term memory, and now I have NO idea how to solve this question”, this is what I kept thinking during the exam. I closed my eyes, and tried to THINK, but no use. I WANTED to recall what I saw on the book last night.

When I closed my eyes, the whole Universe went out of my sight, and all I could see was some really random patterns, as if it were a visual presentation of what my mind was going through, in order to perform a search operation on a specific visual item. I tried to focus hard, and some vague patterns of a page from a book appeared. Some further focus, and the content of the page became clearer. I could see the orientation, and paragraph layouts. There was some figure drawn as well, a graph. I could barely read some text, but I wanted that specific equation. I knew the exact location of that equation on the page. Focusing on and on, I could see the variables and operators that composed the equation. As I was getting closer, it was becoming harder and harder to focus. I was spending my energy, as well as my time, because that one equation could lead me to 10 straight marks in no time. At this moment, I could feel the physical pain, as if it were telling me get out of this inner World. The pain kept on increasing, but I wasn’t willing to quit. I JUST WANTED TO RECALL THE DAMN EQUATION. *snap* “Half of the time has passed”, a voice came, which wasn’t from the World I was in at the moment, but it helped me enough go get back to my real location, with respect to my physical dimensions. Now I barely had the courage to maintain that focus again, but I was sure enough that the information was NOT lost. It was still inside, I just had to find a way to access it.

And in case if you’re wondering why I didn’t finish it in this post, well, honestly, I hate these walls of never ending text. I’ll most probably not read the text where I have to scroll down till the end,not even on 9gag. I mean, SOME scrolling is fine, but A LOT of scrolling isn’t acceptable.

The way it is not supposed to end

“The Mayans predicted an end to civilization but never described how that would transpose. Most people over the years assumed the Mayans meant a catastrophic event that would extinct mankind. But what if they thought of an end time that was far more frightening and destructive than that. Not the loss of mankind itself, but rather the loss of humanity. What if they meant a time where mankind would create wars for greed, would tolerate genocide. A time where people wouldn’t appreciate nature or even the earth, a time where faith, mosques, and churches become abandoned. A time where mankind would not cherish life. What if they meant a time where a person armed with a weapon would enter an area with women and children and murder them , one by one; for no apparent reason. What if the Mayans were right. What if this is how it all ends.” -Seph Lawless