Evening’s knock on the door was the favorite delight for her ears, since the never ending day felt like eternities. Every moment without him would make her desire more and more of him.
Every tick on his workplace’s clock felt like a whip, as he was separated from the charm of his life. They both were like an ornament, incomplete without each other; meaningless without each other.
Both tired by the limitless wait of seeing each other, their one hug would be the remedy of every pain they had; pain of losing everything, pain of surviving on the horizon of the society. When you have spent a lot of time in agony, your heart becomes saturated with it. It’s a phase where no other suffering can hurt you, but only a blink of happiness creates a sparkle in your eyes, and you smile in the brightest way possible.
They only had each other, both of them were that blink of happiness for each other. They would smile at each other, they would dance in their small cottage, they would laugh together, they would sing for each other, and then they would cry together. The thought of all this going to end was so overwhelming, that no comfort in the World could quieten their melancholic hearts. Then they would mourn together, and they would comfort each other. This cycle of emotions would go on throughout night.
While she was trying to collect the scattered fragments of those beautiful memories, she realized that thirty years had been passed since she last heard the evening’s knock. She was losing those memories, and there was nothing she could do about it. She would subconsciously pray that no more memories may fall into the abyss of time. No matter how hard she tried to hold it back, eventually fell the tear from her wrinkled eye.
So here I am, standing on the verge of my teenage, with a lot to remember, a lot to repent, a lot to face, and a lot to learn. People do tell me to change myself, and I just want to let them know that “constant is a cool thing to be”. They tell me to be mature and act like a grown up, and I simply add “so that I may start wishing to be a child again”.
People do have misconceptions. Being silent doesn’t mean that I don’t have a voice. Remaining oblivious doesn’t mean that I don’t have the ability to judge things around me. I have the abilities, I just don’t see the need of using them in a wasteful manner.
I wish I could waste some more keystrokes and space on what these people say and think, but I’ve some better things to write here at the moment.
My whole life till now has shown a very deviated behavior. Always remaining at extreme points. Sorrows were extreme, and joys were extreme. Maybe that’s the reason that little sufferings don’t hurt me, and little joys don’t flatter me. So if yo really want to blow me away, you’ve to be either the worst, or the best.
Life already had shown me only two variations of itself. The next thing was, that I chose to be a computer scientist, where we’re always told that the core decisions of every thought are based on two discrete values. It’s either yes, or no. There is nothing in between. So whenever I treat you like a “Yes or No” subject, either bear it, or tear it apart.
To those people who are like “itna toh chalta hai yaar”, I want to let them know: “Phir kisi aur k saath chalaya karo ja ke. Mere saath nai chalta”.
No one is poor on the account of the fact that every human on this planet breathes air worth $0.5 million, rain worth $1.7 billion, sunlight worth $180 billion, and a land to walk on, which is more than $190 quadrillion on annual basis.
This is a start of a new era for me. I don’t want to be pleased. I don’t want to be loved. I don’t want to be remembered. All I want is to “Know”.
To “Know” is my goal of life. As long as I keep on “Knowing”, I’ll continue to survive.